,Sometimes

Feeling very "emo" right now...I suspect my monthly gift is coming soon...anyhow, I'm feeling very homesick right now for some reason. I miss my family so much.....I don't really like coming home to a dark apartment. I miss coming home to my dog running to me with her silly smile. I miss my grandma's super loud Chinese dramas. I miss my mom's cooking and staying up late at night to talk to her. I miss my rebellious younger brother who, despite his teenage angst, makes me laugh the most. I miss always coming home to someone. I just really miss home...FORTUNATELY, I am flying home for Memorial Day weekend! Thank God for braces or else I'd probably spend it studying while all my other friends go home =(.

Today, I walked past this homeless girl begging for food. I looked her in the eye and kept thinking about giving her some money as I walked past her. Somehow, I forgot. When I had remembered, she was gone. As I am typing this, I am eating a delicious Chipotle burrito. I feel terrible because I am reminded of the verse with Jesus saying that he is that man on the streets, that person no one wants to care about, and I feel terrible. I feel so hypocritical because here I am, serving food to the homeless on Thursdays, yet outside of service days, I don't do much. As I sat here eating, I thought, "Why didn't I just buy her food?! She was sitting RIGHT outside of Chipotle! Why didn't I tell her about Chow Nights, or about Cesar Chavez nights?" The worst part is she was around my age. I pray that God will give me another chance. I want to make a difference. Here I am spending money on makeup, clothes, and stupid stuff when I could have used that money for something bigger than myself. I know that God is not mad and does not blame me, but I just feel so guilty. Next time I will do something.

By the way, my 5K was today, but ended up not running it...during my training, my shoe was too heavy and actually caused my hip/knees to start hurting...so I think I will wait until I get new shoes before I start to really get into running..I do enjoy it though =)

Training for My 5k

i'm actually very proud of myself this quarter. i try and make time to work out at least 4 times a week. i definitely find that working out helps me stay alert more. I feel great and confident! i love the way my body feels so good. i've been doing this all quarter usually doing 40-45 minutes of elliptical per workout on a resistance of 8-10. it may not be thaaat hard for some people, but for me, i'm very proud of myself :) sometimes i question how i survived grueling tennis days..=\ but those days are long gone...

anyhow, been trying to get into running so i've been actually incorporating that into my workouts more...but it's been hard...so to get me to run more, i've actually signed up for my first race! it's a measly IM 5k race, but hey, it's my first one! hopefully, i'll get into it more so that i can run run run run run :) i've been running around the park right outside our apartment and it does wonder for my stress level! i pop in my earbuds with a good song and just run! i love the scenic (sorta) routes with trees, the smell of dirt, and just the freshness of the air. love it!

anyhow, been training diligently this past week for my race! i'm nervous still..just hope i dont end up last or something..but even so, i'll be proud of myself! :D