random update

If I had all the time in the world ...

in other words, if my 20s lasted forever..(which, by the way, is KNOWN to be the prime of our lives...and a fact that I whole heartedly believe..)

I would want to spend part of my life living in these places (in somewhat of a non specified order...)

1) Italy

2) Paris

3) London

4) New York

5) Spain

6) Boston

7) Taiwan

8) San Francisco

*Sigh. Was so close to living in SF though. It was the absolute perfect opportunity. My friend was gonna be able to get me into research lab dealing with Alzheimer's at UCSF. I was even talking to my friend Angela to get a place together if she got a job...alas, it wasn't meant to be. This whole my grandma dying biz just made it inconvenient to move to SF. Being the good daughter I am, I just couldn't bear the thought of leaving my mom and brother behind while I was gallavanting off. I mean, I know my mom wouldn't mind, and she'd be okay, but I guess I am just too tied to my family to leave them. So, I gave up that plan to move home after college. Plus, it would mean delaying med school for a year...or two, which ... is fine............

The thought of living in SF is so attractive to me though. I think I prefer the SF vibe way more than the LA vibe. SF has a younger, hipper vibe. I feel like it's less ghetto than LA...and there's just larger crowd of fresh outta college kids. I love the style of SF, and just the fact that SF is downright gorgeous. Sigh. I dunno...I'm kind of tired living in Norcal although I may just be sick of the Davis/Sac area. I'm sure Bay Area life is "hella" different.

Anyhow, definitely wasn't planning on a whole shpeal about SF...this weekend was Halloween weekend and I spent part of it studying, part of it shopping, and part of it very sick. I dunno if it's because I've been sleeping later and later each night or the fact that I'm working with kids or a combo of both, but my immune system has been killing me lately. This is the second time I've been sick this quarter...and we're ONLY starting the 6th week. I blame the kids. They're the cause of all my troubles. I'm jk. I actually enjoy my job.........when the bad kids are gone.......it's so bad because sometimes I look for excuses to give them referrals because they drive me absolutely NUTS.

On a random note, I registered for my MCATs last Wednesday. It feels like I'm signing my life away. To think that the test that will determine my life will occur on April 5th kind of feels like I'm announcing my own apocalypse or something. Okay. Maybe not THAAAT dramatic....but you get what I mean.

When God Touches Your Heart

...you cannot stay the same

One of the constant struggles I face in my Christian walk is my tendency to neglect my relationship with God during busy times. It's definitely something I need to work on.

A constant fear I have is not living out my faith in the face of my non-believing friends. I'ma always afraid of being too pushy with them because many have told me that they went to church at one point, but the people were too pushy, controlling, judgemental that they kind of gave up and left Christianity as a whole. My experience with Koinonia was kind of like that so I understand where they are coming from. Even I felt pressured and wanted to quit Christianity when I attended that fellowship. So now, my tactic is being understanding and being as non-judgemental as possible, which...many actually appreciate. But, I'm just afraid that it's not enough. I don't know.

On a more random note, been sleeping around 3am every night. Even missed church this morning because I couldn't wake up. This is definitely unhealthy for me and wreaking havoc on my face. =(

Be My Everything

One step forward and two steps back.

This song is my heartcry.

God, be my everything. Help me to overcome my weaknesses.

It's Friday night...

....and I'm home ATTEMPTING to write a paper.

Life of a college student...I should be out with a cocktail in hand laughing with a group of girlfriends...

or snuggled up in bed watching movies/catching up on shows...

and the busyness settles in...

So, I started work this week at Dingle Elementary as an after school tutor, and after the first week of work...I've learned that..

KIDS ARE MONSTERS.

Well, at least MY 6th grade class is. How is it that they can be so diabolical and cunning? It sucks even more that my co-worker and I are new. I think it will get better as time passes though...I hope.

This past week has been hectic. Frantically getting my things together to file for graduation, the sudden realization that my lower div science class doesn't count since I'm a science major, and on top of all this, midterms are coming up, work, and me getting sick.

My roommate is awesome though. She's so sweet. She made me soup and cooked me rice because I was feeling crappy and was KO-ed.

The highlight of my sick, busy, hectic week was the fact that I brought my housemate to Christ. All because I left my bible on the table. :) God draws men to Himself. That's for sure.

These days, I'm feeling extra lazy. I don't cook at all anymore. I don't really go out anymore. I should, but so lazy. Sigh..hope this laziness goes away.

8 more weeks before I graduate!

Fear of the Unknown

I've been thinking about my future a lot lately....

maybe it's because this quarter is my last quarter in Davis before I move home...I originally was planning on staying in SF to do research for a year on Alzheimer's. However, with the sudden death of my grandma, I really just want to go home as soon as possible to keep my mom and brother company. I know that research at UCSF would be such a great resume booster. I know going home would be such a waste of a great opportunity, but at this moment, my desire to be with my family trumps all.

I'm currently in the process of gathering my letter of recs before I leave. Taiwan in December and crack down studying for MCATs in January to take the test in March. Depending on how I do, applications in June. Scary to think about, yet exciting at the same time. I'm excited to go to medical school, but worried that I won't even make it in. I have the grades, but I don't know about my experiences. I know I went to Oaxaca...I know I did research and handled my own project....I have clinical experience...but how much is enough? How much is enough for me to stand out? Hearing stories of much more qualified individuals being rejected from ALL the med schools they applied to freaks the bejeezus out of me.

My hope is knowing that if this is what God wants me to do, then He will be responsible for getting me in.

Hebrews 11:1--Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.