,Sometimes

Feeling very "emo" right now...I suspect my monthly gift is coming soon...anyhow, I'm feeling very homesick right now for some reason. I miss my family so much.....I don't really like coming home to a dark apartment. I miss coming home to my dog running to me with her silly smile. I miss my grandma's super loud Chinese dramas. I miss my mom's cooking and staying up late at night to talk to her. I miss my rebellious younger brother who, despite his teenage angst, makes me laugh the most. I miss always coming home to someone. I just really miss home...FORTUNATELY, I am flying home for Memorial Day weekend! Thank God for braces or else I'd probably spend it studying while all my other friends go home =(.

Today, I walked past this homeless girl begging for food. I looked her in the eye and kept thinking about giving her some money as I walked past her. Somehow, I forgot. When I had remembered, she was gone. As I am typing this, I am eating a delicious Chipotle burrito. I feel terrible because I am reminded of the verse with Jesus saying that he is that man on the streets, that person no one wants to care about, and I feel terrible. I feel so hypocritical because here I am, serving food to the homeless on Thursdays, yet outside of service days, I don't do much. As I sat here eating, I thought, "Why didn't I just buy her food?! She was sitting RIGHT outside of Chipotle! Why didn't I tell her about Chow Nights, or about Cesar Chavez nights?" The worst part is she was around my age. I pray that God will give me another chance. I want to make a difference. Here I am spending money on makeup, clothes, and stupid stuff when I could have used that money for something bigger than myself. I know that God is not mad and does not blame me, but I just feel so guilty. Next time I will do something.

By the way, my 5K was today, but ended up not running it...during my training, my shoe was too heavy and actually caused my hip/knees to start hurting...so I think I will wait until I get new shoes before I start to really get into running..I do enjoy it though =)