Random Thoughts

been thinking a lot about my future these few days...maybe it's because i'm taking UWP104f. despite the workload, i really do enjoy this class. i feel like i'm learning so much about healthcare and science from this class. i enjoy all the reading despite the amount. i love science so much. i love research. i love cell biology. i love physiology, genetic engineering, biotechnology. i probably have so many random thoughts because i just finished reading Emperor of All Maladies, a 470 biography of cancer. it was such a great read. Siddartha Muhkerjee is a fantastic writer. while reading this story, i really felt the struggle and race against cancer. we've really come a long way with cancer..from radical masectomies to new targeted specific therapeutic strategies. it's amazing to understand all that i've read because of my classes. while reading this book, i just remember all the things i've learned in bis104 about cancer, about Taxol, about cells, and it's just amazing. so intricate and so beautiful, yet so destructive and lifesaving at the same time. cancer is a disease of our genetic code. it's scary yet...mindblowing.

anyways, all this stuff i've learned from this book has really driven my desire to do research even more. my biggest regret coming to Davis is not getting myself into a research lab. if i am not good enough to apply to medical school come this June, then i really want to work for a research company...but it's so hard in SoCal. most biotech companies are located in norcal ... or in SD. either way, away from home =\. i want to do research in medical school...i'd love to do oncology research...or just anything with cell bio. clinical research would be cool too.

this summer has been so difficult...especially ss2. endocrinology + uwp104f...what was i thinking...+internship. how am i even managing good grades? i dont even know. i wonder how i did it while at mt. sac. 2 jobs...fulltime schooling + internship. i dunno...by the grace of God i suppose.

i thought i wasn't creative at all, but i think i am. medicine, i've learned, is an art. the art of communication... to patients about their conditions so that they understand...or their impending death.. which hopefully i wont need to do.. the art of surgery...the art of empathy...the art of stretching yourself for your patients...the art of distancing yourself from them enough to make a proper diagnosis..the art of treating them as a person not a set of symptoms...the art of deduction...

yet..i want to remain human as well...